My emotions get louder through my words!!

My life gets a hitch, my wagon moves sometimes into the lush green forest (happiness) and sometimes through barren ravines and crevasses (sadness). The ups and downs make my grey cells compel my hands to write what I feel and yes I feel from my heart when I pen down my emotions into words.

A few thoughts from my mind in different moods compiled together ( oh yes! for people who sneak peak into my FB timeline these might seem familiar)
.

I wanna go far away...
Far enough to touch the Horizon...
Its not coz i wanna disappear..itz coz I wanna a be missed and remembered
Its not b'coz I have lost something..its bcoz I wanna search for new stars
Its not that am running away or I am defeated...its b'coz I ll be back again with more fervor to win.

Shocks and tears, the Bad n the Worst, Shattering Expectations and waking up at the climax of a beautiful dream... has all been a part of my life but the most important part is my belief that "this time shall pass" and my "positive attitude" that makes me fight till the last ray of hope!!!!!!

Adoring and loving your own self is not an act of narcissism... its just a way to feel happy and content.... and I am the happiest person!!!

Life becomes tough when u wake up from a beautiful dream n face the practical world..
But when u strive hard, surpass all hurdles n win big battles to create your years old dream into reality... Nothing can b more beautiful then this LIFE!!!
******* if you have dared to dream, have courage to fight n make it come true********

Something’s will never change.....
Silently walk away from it or be silent and learn to live with it!!!!

There may be million things around to bother you, countless fingers to point at you, many others to envy you and loud noises to bark at you........
but..there is ONE strong voice from within me..It says "YOU CAN NEVER BE AS GOOD AS I AM"

Crazy world it is!!! every second person around you is trying to pull your leg and make you fall in the well.
Others trying to win award for the "best critic".
Two ways to deal : Either compete with them to become the "best critic" or compete to be "the best"

A long lonesome train journey, a good read and descent music plugged to your ears is all that is needed to.....
churn the thoughts from every secret hideouts of your mind,blend them perfectly with emotions and realizations
and finally giving you a fruitful lesson for the longest ever journey called “life”.

Your present situation is not your final destination...BELIEVE in yourself..Be determined to get what you dream of ....THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!! !!!

When no one understands you.. no one can read your mind.. when no one cares of your happiness or pain...
Look at your Mirror and Smile..
You yourself are your Best friend.. coz no one knows you better than you know yourself...
If u can face yourself.. you can face the World

Every Rejection/Failure is a motivation to improve and become the BEST!!

Never let anyone decide your fate... your destiny is in your hands!!!
If tears wipe away your dreams... you are free to dream again

Into the wilderness of my thoughts.... I prefer to walk.. alone...
Drown into the complexities of mind... I prefer to swim alone...
Perplexed with my own fantasies... I prefer to find my way alone.

As time goes on, you’ll understand…
what lasts, lasts… what doesn’t, doesn’t.
Time solves most things
And what time can’t solve, you have to try solving yourself.
You cannot make someone do their share if they are not willing to
If you have done your part, stay happy about it..fate and destiny would decide the rest

 
Its easy to accept a fault.. Its even easier to say a sorry... Its easiest to neglect nd walk away.... But it requires a big heart, a bigger conscience and huge courage to realize your mistake. And provide an assurance... "it won't happen again

Imported from Orkut!!!!

There is an era for every trend...It evolves and fades  away gradually!!! So was the era of orkut where we lived in the world of scraps and testimonial.
Recently as i logged in my orkut account(surprisingly i remembered the password); I was a bit touched by a few testimonials written by my dear ones and who doesn't love to read praises for self..hee hee :D
Thought, Why not to document it ; atleast it would act like a mood booster for me when am gloomy and grim and a guide for people who want to know me through my old(n gold) friends at college.........

Mahesh pillai - Aug 15, 2010

hmm..had a lot in mind but i guess it wont be enough for me to describe pallavi in short.she has been like a shadow for me the last 4 years.she has always stood by me,even fought with her own friends for me.highly idealistic but sometimes plain dumb,pallavi is the epitome of getting attached to a person.she is like iron fists in velvet gloves,mentally very strong but emotionally very weak.she acts like a 10 year old pampered girl let off the hook.but she has the heart of gold and has always responded like wonderwoman coming to the rescue of anyone in need.she loves dancing but i think she needs a hell lot of practice at that.she is damn lazy as well and sometimes wastes her immense talent.a suggested career advice from me would be that she starts writing and blogging.if anything above didnt tell you about her,ask me,contact me,because she is my Best Friend.



 KAVITA K  - Feb 18, 2010

 dis testimnl is dedcatd to my dearest "pal"..a persn whoz full of lyf nd whoz ideas bout lyf can surely make u ponder about so many things!!! one of d sw8est gal i hv met..though she keeps on blabberin bout stuffs(nd d bst part is dat she nvr gts tired of doin dat) bt its realy nice 2 hear her talking vidout ne fulstops). shez a highly emotnal being nd nvr has contrl on hr tearz..angr or laughtr. but i can tel u she can b d bst emotonl support to u whn u realy need sm1 undrstandin n carin..she hs gr8 value 4 her frnds n she gts so intensly involvd vd al of dem dat u see her in tears 4 d reasns dat shudnt realy concrn her. a gal who xpcts a lot 4m lyf n ppl around but wat she gts is no whr nr d hghts of wat she does 4 dem.
her compny is fun as its d bubbly..joly pal vid u who cn vry wel mould hrslf acc2ppl around her!
GR8 to hv a frnd lyk u




Neethu martin - Jun 19, 2010

Pallu...can't compare u wit any1 i met in cet yaar...so unique n genuine...i'l alwayz cherish the times we spend 2gther..the way v usd 2 sing silly songs in that stupid bme clazz n way the way ur face gets screwd up in suresh sir's clazz..seems lik nly ystrday...u'v alwaz given great importance in maintaining friendships,which is quite unique..  bt dnt b too sensitive whn things go dwn da..u'r the coolest person 2 hangout with..alwaz fun loving,talkative,naughty,lively,adorable(omg!!list is endlezz)...i'm glad 2 say that i'v spend the happiest times in colg wit u...lov u alwazzz..




Anup C Unnithan - Dec 5, 2008 

Pallavi! She is one of the most versatile talented people to walk this planet…atleast with me !
Coming down to CET, meeting someone from Andamans was a pleasant surprise.. nd…Knowing her was a revelation of sorts. Quite Tomboy,until she pesters u vth her feminist ideas! Deep into reading, nd trust me she digs into those pillow sized ones.. Pal has got her own ideas about doin things, and u dare not mess up vth her!!! But Its the wonderful friend in her which struck me most, also her ability to get along so nice and so well..esp vth nuts like me!





Lakshmi Menon - Feb 19, 2010

Pallavi.... She's a great frnd f mine...one thing wich i really regret is that,we turned out to be grt frnds only in s7 :( ...but i've had a lot f happy moments wid u..can neva forget all those (esp final yr tour,hangouts in tvm,long nite chats,all those mischieves at hostel etc etc....)..she's a chatterbox,freaky,fun loving gal,very much talented....full of energy...unique in her own way....wat i lik abt her the most is that, she's very open hearted ....hate any kind f pretendence...she's very sensitive n give great importance to frndship..i'm really lucky hav a freaky frnd lik u dear...neva cry for someone who doesnt deserve it,so keep smiling..love to c u that way sweetie :) i'm really gonna miss u aftr colg.. bt keep in touch....love ya lotsss....




.-=SHIKHAR=-. :) :) - Feb 29, 2008 

here i m writing few things abt my good old frnd ...
(and by old i mean aged kinda... dont let her black hair fool you... har din black dye karti hai....)...... heheheheh.... jokes apart
PALLAVI is someone whom i really trust, a true friend...
she has always been there for me... helping me, encouraging me.....
well....
i really admire her for she is very hard working and determined...
a very good speaker (iske saamne debate mein koi nahi tik sakta hai), a good person,a good frnd... goes on and on and on...

at this point i must apologize, i m normally good when it comes to writing stuff.....
but i m finding it very difficult writing this testimonial..... not because i dont hv nething to say or to write... but because i have soooooooooo much to write....

"WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH,
THEY ONLY COME IN THE WAY,
THERE REALLY ARE NO WORDS,
TO DESCRIBE WHAT I WANT TO SAY....."

well there are very few person whom i call as my real frnds.....
and dear you are right up there.




Shivangi Shaily - Mar 24, 2007

She has a dream with its purpose holy pure and clean. All she needs to accomplish it is to be up and doing.
With a heart ready for any fate and mind still persuing.She has to work and then wait and satisfy his deen, of her consciousness;
before anyone she never leans
To hitch her wagon to the stars she respects the shrines.Encountering the opposition and then tame cannot be a simple brine.
Rome was not build in a day;so she has to make her own team.
For it needs indefatigability on her part for pioneering
with self esteem as an umpire and ideals made of iron and steel.
Doing some astounding work is her aim which is keen.
She can do herself a promise that she will go on imbibing ideals of virtue not on others but her.
The plethora of pros and cones will be faced with the power of divine.
The challenges of life and criticism are music to her ears and enchanting.
Each time she faces failure she doubly dreams
because she has an ambition which God will help her achieve.
...I believe.

LOST yet FOUND!!!!

I am lost…I don’t know where….i don’t wanna be found…but I wanna b searched for!!! Do I sound insane, weird or fuzzy???? Well am not!!! You see things the way you want them to be and you understand things the way it is easily understood by you. Just give your grey cells a little more hitch and try to learn the intense meaning of my phrase. Things that appear to be shallow might have an orphic depth in them. I am “ lost” in my thoughts….numerous affairs running into my various nerves that I can’t exactly get what is going on and “where” are these thoughts leading my mind…I “don’t want” anyone to read my mind..but I “want” someone to understand me!!!!! I suppose my statement gets transparent now :) . Well! I believe it is the state of mind most of us have and if I make it more specific most of us with a “thoughtful mind” have :) I find myself a lonely planet lost in the infinite sky and there are a jillion thoughts that revolve around the cerebrum of the master piece I have. Sometimes I find it difficult to figure out what my mind is pondering about as its unlikely possible to pick up the right thread from a cluster of entangled knots. I wish if I could find out the right knot but I fail to. I wonder if someone could help me out, understand the simple me caught inside a shell of complications and help me out through my loneliness but I am scared :( and yet again I fail to give someone a chance to bring me out of my space coz I do not want anyone to read what my mind keeps thinking and hence I prefer being a lonely planet. It’s more like having a guide whom I want to lead me to the treasure island but have no clue about the treasure. Sometimes each one of us want to be lost somewhere, get ourselves away from the debris of worries over us, find a place where the mind seeks nirvana. However, Nirvana for me is not a shear silence to meditate and shout for your inner spirits but to discover your inner self in chorus of the voices surrounding you. Gazing at the night sky...I imagine the sky to be my canvas where my fantasies are sketched connecting the stars as we drew images connecting dots on our drawing note, the gushing sound of the river seems to me like a melody to my ears and the breeze blowing off my face carries away the fragrance that mesmerizes my senses. And this is where and how my mind and soul seek the peace I sometimes really crave for! PS: I am no different but yes my perspective towards life makes a difference!!!!!!

THE DUDES PERPLEXING AXIOMS

Beware ! Hyper Acquisitiveness may sometimes lead you to deplorable and perplexing circumstances

.Dudes do often bester themselves to such situations. Now ,when I mention “dudes” , I mean guys who would do any damn thing to levy a good image towards the gals.
And hey gals ! make a note you will come across such crizzalian number of dudes in our college.My friend Gaurav is one among them. Poor chap! His quest to earn a girlfriend makes him do all aberrant and foolish acts.And mind you,all his attempts are ultimately futile.
Now before I tell you,about his attempts to find a girlfriend, let me illuminate on who is Gaurav.Gaurav,a guy with tall ,dark and well built looks is a second year mechanical engineering student and a very dear friend of mine,who often bemoans of not having a girlfriend .
Gaurav’s endeavour started right from the first day in the college. Riya, the only gal among 120 boys in his class was his first crush.But this crush of his was soon crushed down as he perceived that “the gals to guys ratio” in his class was 1:120 and it was almost impossible to individually impress a gal when you have 118 other competitors doing the same job.He quits the idea of having the “mech queen” as his girl friend.But that’s not the end of his quest.the quest now had taken a permeate face extending to the other departments.
To begin with it’s the neighbours , that’s the electrical department. Preparations begins ,he tries setting an electrifying look to impress the electrical gals.Spiky hair styles(it appered to me as if he was really given a high voltage electric shock) was the prominent change , I noticed in him.New cargos and T-shirts was the next happening change.The third change was the change in his usual way to th e class.He walked a few meters extra taking a long route passing via electrical department.The process was carried on for a couple of weeks until he got a 220 volts electric shock on the right hand side of his face after he had attempted to make metallic contacts with a gal. Trial to have a girlfriend in electrical department was back fired with great abashments and acerbic experiences.
But that does not cease his attempts .Rays of hope always shine even after such backlashing moments.Yes , his next hope was the computer science department . His myth that studious gals goggle on guys with glasses , made him spend 2000 bugs to get new glasses which ofcourse had zero power .But Gaurav did not know that glasses are not the only parameter for gals to goggle on guys.After a month of abortive trials , he decided to change his way to civil department . Trials to civil department would serve him 2 in 1 purpose. The electronics department lies on the way to civil department . This time again with misconceptions that civil and electronic gals have similar choices of guys . Gaurav went on for a makeover with prim and prude look. Formal shirts well tucked in rough n tough jeans was his next wardrobe. Spiky looks had disappeared long back after some electrifying experiences in electrical department. But poor Gaurav was unaware of the fact that even electronic equipments may give high voltage shocks.His reckless nature always puts him into humiliating circumstances. Never be to early to ask a gal’s phone number, I always tell him . But the nervy fellow never takes my advices seriously and finally lands himself in between louring and frowning gals.Yes! this time again , his attempts were backfired . Poor guy , he couldn’t even move towards the civil classes as he needed to cross those frowning and scowling faces standing ahead of the electronics department.
But the last ray of hope still hadn’t been debilitated .The great architecture department was still waiting for this tall ,dark and handsome dude. This time Gaurav really tried to go innovative and creative.He waited till his hair reached his shoulders , coloured them with shades that appeared to have just come from some alien planet .Again a change in his outfits. This time faded jeans and crushed kurtas (as if it had been taken out from a long and narrow necked vessel) giving him the most weird appearance that one could ever imagine.He was trying to accentuate on his artistic looks which he thought would drive the attention of the creative archi gals. This time the dude went on to the extent of proposing a gal whom he described “the perfect architecture of God”. Perfect architecture have million admirers ,and if not million atleast a hundred in her department. And mind you ,these admirers may really turn hostile when they have new members like Gaurav in their list.Gaurav had a pity experience as this time he was beaten up in a very creative,innovative or you can say in the “the architectural way!”.
Goodness! Another round of abashing experience by the smarty dude.
But the chap always tells me “TRY, TRY TILL YOU SUCEED” and I tell you he is sincerely believes in this funda.Poor Gaurav ! his attempts to find a girlfriend would never desist, atleast not until he stops relying on his perplexing axioms!!!

those wer d bst days of my lyf....

“am really gonna miss dis place
……am gonna miss my colllege days”
Some memories are enshrined in ur heart for a lifetym..memories dat u wud always like to cherish….
It seems to be jst yestrday whn I joined college.. a terribly home sick gal trying to adjst in her new world whr she ws away 4m her parents who pamperd her nd d buddies she had grown up vid nd d skool dat hd nurtured her into a world whr she cudnt evn freak out her feelings in her mother tongue, who thot “hw d hell am gonna spnd 4yrs of my lyf here”…and 2day she feels “how d hell did dese 4 wonderful yrs of my life came to an end”…yes! today my heart brims vd al nostalgic feelings for a place I left far behind.. the most funfilled days of my life..my college days dat finally came to an end

it hurts

It hurts when I realise how much I love U…and u don’t!!!!
It hurts when I want U to lend me UR shoulders… but u wont!!!
The fear of loosing U tears me apart…I fear the day when we would part!!!


The biggest pain in life is to sit besides a person you love and to know that person can never be yours in this entire lifetime!!!
Well! The biggest wounds in life are bestowed to you by the people you love the most and what if your loved one can never see that pain in your eyes! It really hurts, isn’t it? It might take years to know a person… months to realise you love him/her…weaks to gather courage to confess your feelings…days to mentally get ready to tell him/her …hours to start a conversation…but just a few seconds to say “I love u”.
Yes! “I love you” could have been the shortest sentence I said to someone with the longest breath I had ever taken..and the sigh of relief I had after I confessed my feelings for someone I loved with the words that had been choking me from the time I realised wat actually it meant!!! My heart lied beneath the debris of thougts that had started pondering into my head from the moment I realised that I loved someone more than anyone or anything. Always knew the person would never be mine but commitment was not what my love demanded. “commitment was not what my love demanded”????? Easy to say but difficult to wage a war each and every day against your own emotions…that too whn that person conquerd you not physically but emotionally! How tough the life becomes with merely three simple words framed together to make your life most complex in it own ways.
Well! This is what most people victimised by the feeling of love have told me. But “victimised” by feeling of love??? So can we assume that people falling in love are victims??? To an extent I must say yes!!! Some victimised by the pain of shaterring expectations and some others by occourances of unexpected and alluring fantacies of falling in love.
But certain things that I find difficult figuring out is wat exactly do u mean by falling in love. And what is the differentiating line between “liking” and “loving”. Am sure all of us have some descriptions about our “ideal match”. So wat do we do..stand with advertisments, hoardings and pamphlets to search for our Mr/Miss Perfect? Naaaaaaaa……. Or be patient and confident that our Mr/Miss Perfect would drop down from somwhere and at dat instance we would fall in love. No never! Sounds more absurd! Then wat exactly happens???? I suppose there are basically two ways of how one intends to wat v call as ‘falling in love”……

1. Attraction-distraction-contraption
U see a guy/gal, found him/her attractive(note: the parametres of attraction are determined by individuals), gaze at him/her till the other person spots u goggling at dem, show the characterstics of ‘true entrepreneur’ and grab your oppurtunity to approach dem, free expressions of feelings takes place, you start finding some X, Y n Z factors and declare dat “am in love”… ignorant of the fact dat d person mite not satisfy the standards of your “d perfect match”. Well! Who cares???? U are getting the X,Y n Z xtra factors!!! This is wat I called ‘Attraction-distraction-contraption”. You are attracted to someone ‘coz of der looks, the thots of dat person pesters your mind distracting u all the time especially as u are gazing at dat person and if dis finally leads into some kind of commitment then “contraption” is the term I’d use cause I find it strange though not unusual!!!!

2. The ultimate realisation
U speak to a person, u know dat person, u start knowing dat person better .. and better and better, your interests to talk to dat person arouses ‘coz he/she might very well satisfy ur ‘perfect match’ parametres or if not u still find him/her compatible with u coz he/she could be someone with whom u can “be urself”…. And gradually and ultimately u realise dat u love dat person. No involvment of attraction or distraction. U love someone not coz u want to fall in love with him/her but coz u really love him/her. Perfect!!!!

Well! If falling in love sounds so beautiful, then why the course of pain??? If its all about expectation, understanding, adorance, admiration, trust and genuine feelings then wat makes it so hurting??? I guess der are certain questions whose answers cannot be explained and justified….. they just need to be left out……………..


[note: no hard feelings against anyones emotions]

d most inspiring lines...

dreams transforms to thoughts...
...thoughts to words...
...and words to actions...